Jor Javinicus Kretza, also known as Glabonzo or "Boy Toy", is a world renowned ascetic hermit and founder of the Cheese Pizza Corporation. He was born on Thrumbo, 30 February 1950 in Thessaloniki, Greece. Little is known about his family and conception, as he was discovered in a pool of goo near an abandoned yoghurt factory in Kilkis, one or two days after his birth, by the local authorities.

While growing up in an orphanage, the orderlies noticed that his prosthetic hands granted him the ability to roll cigarettes at super human speed, and prompted him to compete in the cigarette rolling competition that took place once a decade in Peshawar, Pakistan. At the competition, in which he came first, after Thommvald Waldsson and Elvis Neurikeci who came in #2 and #3, he was approached by a group of nomadic Pakistani priests who were impressed by his skills and recruited him as their cigarette roller. On his travels with the priests, he was introduced to philosophical concepts such an Utterancism and Beerism (refer to "Plokism"), which he embraced and incorporated into his own beliefs. During one of the group's pilgrimages to Pontypool, where the priests sought to discover the secrets of Autobrewery Syndrome while exploring the sacred tomb of Obungoloj, Jor lost both his legs in a freak goo accident. The priests were astounded when new tentacle-like limbs grew from the bleeding stumbs within a matter of seconds.

After his magestic ability was discovered, the priests continued their tour around the world, displaying Jor's gift to those interested. In Boston, during one of his speeches, he met Henry Wald, an aspiring violin virtuoso who was, for reasons, hell bent on recruiting a child for his new band, Penis and the Dicks. The two travelled together for a year, and debauchery ensued... Soon, Jor became addicted to beer and "Jake Slimenfoot", an alcoholic concoction the two created while on vacation in the Bahamas, which lead him down a dark path.

In 1958, after a big fight with Henry and his schizophrenic conspirator, Plok Elvinas, Jor fled to Transylvania, where he lived alone for the next 5 years of his life, writing his manifesto (1960 New Bork Times Bestseller) and working on his small business while lowkey making moves. Now, Jor Kretza enjoys the spoils of his success, as a businessman and lawyer (refer to: CJ&W Law Firm), where he takes on cases related to drunk driving and public indecency. Additionally (with the Bahamas lawsuit being settled and the relationship with his old bandmates being rekindled), he often collaborates with Henry Wald, sending them vocal samples telepathically.